Well, so I am back. There is so much to say that I almost can't think where to begin. But I'll start at the beginning and work my way from there. You are probably wondering why I was in jail, right?

Damn good to be out of that rat hole!

Anyway, it all started at my neighbor's party. Well, I guess it even started before that. I had another one of those dreams, you know. Where they are unscrewing a wooden lamp from some lady's torso. It's really a wierd dream, because the lady comes in the door, screaming and covered with blood. Her friends (are they really here friends?) gather around her and offer to help. They uscrew the wooden lamp from something that looks like a slot near her neck. There is now even more blood, but the soman actually seems to be okay.

She sits down on the couch and says: "Shit, that was awful. Someone bring me a cup of tea!"

And then I wake up.

Now as you recall, I recognized that wooden lamp. My neighbor across the hall has one just like it in his living room. So, I got antsy. I saw my neighbor was having a little party and I decided to wander across the hall and invite myself. There remained two little mysteries I wanted to try to unravel: his missing girl friend (I mean the lady lived with him for years!) and the fact that I'm pretty sure I saw my missing paperback book sitting on his coffee table through the open doorway.

So, I wander over to his party, and at first I am relieved. He acts like he invited me!

But then I start to get suspicious. All these people are acting too much like they know me! How? I've never seen them before. And then I wonder... are they the same group of strangers that was gathered at his apartment (now I'm sure it was his apartment) in my dream??? And if they are strangers, how is it they are so friendly to me... act like they know me.

So, I try to conquer my nervousness and start asking Andy's friends about his girfriend. Nobody knows. They haven't seen her in weeks... but why don't I ask Andy. It isn't a big deal. Andy goes through girlfriends like chips. Treats them about the same way too. And then they start laughing. Treats them the same way - laughing!

So, now I start to really wonder. Not just about Andy but about his friends! "But Carolynn was a real nice lady," I tell one of them. "She was friendly to me every time I passed her in the hall." And he starts laughing even more than the other guy did. "Say, Andy! Listen to this kid!" he shouts. "Carolynn was getting fresh with him in the hallways. Maybe this guy knows something about why Carolynn left you, bud!"

Now I'm starting to flush with anger. I get up and start pacing, taking deep breaths - ignoring the jibes and jeers all around me.

But, the real problem maybe is that by now I've had too much to drink. Andy comes over to me and gets right in my face. I mean RIGHT in my face! I can smell the sour cream and union dip on his breath. That, and cheap bourbon. And he smiles at me. Smiles at me while I am shaking with anger.

"What did you do to her?" I shout. I never should have done that. "What did you do to her!"

And now the whole room is laughing.

"Wanna pull down your pants, buddy, and I'll show you," he answers. Calm as can be.

So now I'm pissed. I take a swing at him. And before I know it three or four of his buddies are on me. I'm fighting and squirming and after a minute of this I black out, and the next thing you know I wake up in the infirmary at the county jail.

So get this. My neighbor kills his girlfriend. What for? I haven't figured out the motive yet. But I end up in jail for assault. They said I wasn't invited, and that I had barged into his apartment and picked a fight.

So, now there's this restraining order, too. How the heck am I supposed to stay away from the guy when he lives across the hall from me?

This really sucks.

But I've got more to tell. I'll try to get to it later. Can't afford to spend too much time on the net just yet. But I found my book... the missing one. And that is even more suspicious than the missing neighbor lady.


All for now.

Theodore Alfred Dennison